Just Do the Thing: A Real Boudoir Client Story

WEEK 26 · Client Story

By Jennifer Dirksen · Sheer Photography, Youngstown OH · Est. read time: 6 min

A real client. Her real words. And the moment she fell back in love with herself all over again.

A woman in lace lingerie sits with eyes closed in soft, moody light; the image is in black and white.

I could write all day about what a boudoir session does for a woman. I've done it for 25 weeks in a row. But sometimes the most powerful thing I can do is get out of the way and let one of my Sheer ICONS say it herself!

This one came in recently from a client who had been through it… really been through it. A year of being harder on herself than she'd ever been. A year of losing herself in the daily grind of caring for everyone around her. A year of her own mind being her worst enemy.

And then she did the thing.

I'm sharing her words here (with her permission and so much gratitude) because I know she's not alone. Because I know some of you reading this have been carrying the exact same weight. And because sometimes what you need isn't another person telling you how you'll feel after. Sometimes you need to hear it from someone who was sitting exactly where you are.

"I finally decided to do another shoot after I lost myself. I spend day in and day out caring for others and am known to lose myself in the process. I spent the last year being very critically hard on myself. I was constantly putting myself down and eventually decided to put myself first for once.

My mind kept telling me that I was not skinny enough, that my skin would never be clear enough, yada yada yada. My own mind was my worst enemy."

— Victoria

Read that again. My own mind was my worst enemy.

How many of you just felt that in your chest? Because that's not a unique experience… that's the experience of almost every woman who has ever considered doing something like this and talked herself out of it. The body isn't ready. The skin isn't clear enough. The timing isn't right. The list of reasons to wait is always longer than the one reason to go.

But she went anyway. She booked before she felt ready. And something started to shift.

She didn't wait until she felt worthy. She decided to act like she was and the feeling followed.

A woman in black lingerie poses on all fours on a dining table near large windows with sunlight streaming in.

What happens when life hits harder than normal.

Here's the part of her story that I want to make sure doesn't get glossed over. Because it would be easy to read this as a feel good story about a woman who had a great session and felt better. But what she actually went through leading up to it was real and heavy and hard.

"Leading up to my session, life had definitely been hitting harder than normal. I had gained what weight I had managed to lose and then some. I was harder on myself than I had ever been in the past. It was the biggest and largest struggle I had yet faced in my adulthood.

It took some time but I remembered that I am the daughter, granddaughter, niece, and sister to some of the most amazing and strong women. I took the time and started to find myself yet again. Slowly but surely, I began to come out of my shell."

— Victoria

She didn't arrive at her session healed. She arrived in the middle of the process. Still finding herself. Still coming out of the shell. Still not having a single outfit picked out… which, for a self described control person, took a specific kind of courage.

She trusted me anyway. She told me I had complete control. And when she expressed her concerns (her stomach, the dreaded double chin) my response was exactly what it always is: I gotchu.

Because I do. Every single time. That's the whole job.

A woman in black lingerie sits on a chair by a mirror, surrounded by lit candles and plants, with soft light from a window.

What session day actually felt like.

"Session day arrived and I was nervous. Nervous I was going to be late. Nervous I was going to fail myself in a way. But at the same time, I was so excited. I was excited to see myself in a different light, through someone else's eyes. I was excited to find my spark again that had been buried so deep.

As soon as I saw the first photos Jen took, I fell back in love with myself all over again. Every 'flaw and imperfection' I thought I saw, I loved. I saw what and who my husband saw. The woman I saw in that camera was ME. I am that strong, confident woman. I am the beauty in the image. I am worthy of my own love."

— Victoria

I am worthy of my own love!!!! Yes queen!

I have been doing this for over a decade and that sentence will live rent free in my head FOREVER. Because that's it. That's the whole thing. Not the photos (although the photos are the reminder.) Not the hair and makeup (although walking out feeling amazing is its own kind of magic.) It's that moment. The moment a woman looks at herself and stops seeing everything she's been criticizing and starts seeing everything she actually is!

That moment is real. It happens in my home studio regularly. And it is available to you.

A woman in lingerie reclines on a chaise lounge, arms stretched overhead, in a dimly lit, cozy room.

Her message to you.

I want to end with her words because they're better than anything I could write:

"To anyone that has been a follower of Sheer Photography and Jen, do yourself the favor and book that shoot. Don't let yourself get lost in the shuffle of everyday life. Don't let your spark get buried. You will forever look at the photos and remember how you felt that day. You are worth every bit of time and love you put into others. Do not forget that you are worth your own love too."

— Victoria

She said it. I'm just making sure you heard it.

You are worth your own love too.

Just do the thing 🖤

The right version of you doesn't show up before the decision. She shows up because of it.

I'm done waiting

Let's Talk About Your Session…Fill Out The Form Below

The Women Who Book the Session Are Different. Here's How.

WEEK 25 · IDENTITY & BOLDNESS

By Jennifer Dirksen · Sheer Photography, Youngstown OH · Est. read time: 5 min

It's not about the photos. It's not about the lingerie. It's about the decision and what that decision says about who you're choosing to become.

Silhouetted woman in lace robe stands by a large window with soft, colorful light effects in the foreground.

I want to tell you something I've noticed after years of doing this work.

The women who book a boudoir session aren't a certain body type. They're not a certain age. They don't have a certain relationship status or a certain level of confidence already in place. They don't have their lives perfectly figured out or their self-worth completely sorted or their relationship with their body fully healed.

What they have is a decision.

A moment (sometimes quiet, sometimes electric, sometimes just tired) where something in them says: I'm f*cking done waiting! Done waiting for the right body. Done waiting for the right moment. Done waiting to feel worthy of taking up space in my own story. Done treating myself like an afterthought in my own life.

That decision right there changes things for us. Not just the session. Everything.

The women who book aren't more confident than the ones who don't. They're just done waiting for confidence to arrive before they act!

There is no right time. There is only the decision.

Here's what I hear constantly from women who are considering a session: I'll do it when I lose the weight. I'll do it when things settle down. I'll do it when I feel better about myself. I'll do it when I'm ready.

I say this with so much love: that moment is never coming. Not because you won't lose the weight or feel better or get ready, but because "when I'm ready" isn't a date on a calendar. It's a feeling you're waiting for that only comes from doing the thing you're waiting to feel before you do it.

The women who have come in for a boudoir session with me weren't ready either. They were nervous. They had the same list of reasons to wait. They just decided that the list wasn't actually the point (that they were tired of letting it be the point) and they booked anyway.

And something shifted the moment they did. Before the session. Before the photos. In the decision itself.

The decision is the identity shift.

This is the part most people don't talk about because it sounds too simple and also too big at the same time.

When you decide to do something for yourself (something that is entirely, unapologetically about you, not your role, not your relationships, not your productivity) you send yourself a message. A message that says: I matter enough to show up for myself.

That message lands differently than any affirmation you've ever said in the mirror. Because it's not words. It's an action. It's evidence. And your nervous system believes evidence in a way it never quite believes words alone.

The women who walk out of their sessions different aren't different because of the photos. They're different because of who they decided to be when they booked. The session just gave that decision somewhere to live.

The booking isn't the point. The decision is. And that decision… I matter enough to show up for myself, changes how you move through everything after it.

What actually separates the women who do it from the ones who don't.

It's not confidence. It's not a certain body. It's not having everything figured out.

It's a willingness to be slightly uncomfortable and do something you want. It's the ability to hear all the reasons to wait and choose yourself anyway. It's treating your own desire to feel good, feel seen, feel fully alive as something legitimate. Not selfish. Not indulgent.

The women who don't book aren't less deserving. They're just still in the waiting room. Still collecting reasons. Still believing that the right version of themselves has to show up before they get to do the thing.

But here's what I know after watching hundreds of women walk through this: the right version of you doesn't show up before the decision. She shows up because of it babe!

What the session actually does

As much as a HATE when boudoir photographers say this… a boudoir session at Sheer isn't just a photo shoot. I need you to actually hear that, because it took a lot for me to write those words down without gagging on them. It's a few hours where you exist completely outside of every role you play and every expectation you carry and you get to be seen, fully and intentionally, as a woman who f*cking matters.

We do hair and makeup together. We talk. We move through looks that make you feel like different, powerful versions of yourself. And somewhere in the middle of it (usually when you're not expecting it) you stop performing and start just... being. Present. Real. Yours.

And then you see the photos. And you question why you waited so long.

Five signs you're ready to stop waiting

  • You've been thinking about booking for more than six months and keep finding reasons not to

  • You look at other women's session photos and feel something that's equal parts inspiration and slight jealousy

  • You're tired of being the person who does everything for everyone and nothing for herself

  • You have a birthday, milestone, or season coming up that feels like it means something

  • Something in you read this and thought that's me… I need this!

That last one. That's the one. If something in you recognized yourself in any of this, that's not a coincidence. That's the decision knocking.

You don't have to be ready. You just have to be done waiting.

The right version of you doesn't show up before the decision. She shows up because of it. The investment is smaller than another year of waiting.

I'm done waiting

Let's Talk About Your Session…Fill Out The Form Below