The Body You Have Right Now Deserves to Be Seen

WEEK 27

By Jennifer Dirksen · Sheer Photography, Youngstown OH · Est. read time: 5 min

Not the one you're working toward. Not the one you had five years ago. This one. Today. As she is.

I want to ask you something and I want you to actually sit with it for a second before you move on.

How long have you been waiting to love your body?

Not tolerate it. Not manage it. Not negotiate with it. Actually love it… the way it is right now, today, without a single condition attached.

For most women the answer is some version of: a really long time. Maybe since the first time someone made a comment that landed wrong. Maybe since the first diet. Maybe since the body started changing in ways that felt like betrayal instead of biology.

And somewhere along the way the waiting became the plan. I'll love my body when I lose the weight. When the skin clears. When it looks more like it used to. When it looks more like hers. When it finally becomes the version I've been working toward.

But here's what that plan actually costs you: every single day between now and someday. And someday has a way of never arriving.

The body you're waiting to have isn't more deserving of love than the one you're living in right now. She's doing everything. She deserves everything.

The "after" body myth.

We've been sold a story that there's a before and an after. That the after body is the real one… the worthy one, the one that gets to be photographed and celebrated and finally loved. And the before body is just the waiting room. Something to get through on the way to something better.

I photograph women every single week. Women of every size, shape, age, and relationship with their own reflection. And I want to tell you something I know with absolute certainty after over a decade of this work:

There is no after body that is more beautiful than a woman who has decided that she is worth seeing as she is now!

The most stunning images I have ever made were not of the women who had the "perfect" bodies by whatever standard we're currently being sold. They were of the women who walked in and decided to stop waiting. Who gave themselves permission (maybe for the first time) to be fully present in the body they actually have.

That decision photographs like nothing else I've ever seen.

What your body is actually doing while you're criticizing it.

Here's the thing about the body you've been at war with: it has been showing up for you every single day without a single day off. Through the stress and the sleepless nights and the hard seasons and the babies and the grief and the years of being last on your own list.

It carried you through things you weren't sure you could survive. It healed. It adapted. It kept going when you wanted to stop. It held your children. It got you here.

And while it was doing all of that… you were criticizing everything wrong with it.

I'm not saying that to make you feel guilty. I'm saying it because I think most women genuinely don't realize how one-sided that relationship has been. How much your body has given you while you've been focused entirely on what it hasn't.

What would it feel like to call a truce? Not full peace necessarily, just a truce. Just enough to let yourself be seen.

Your body didn't fail you. It carried you here. Maybe it's time to start treating it like it did.

What actually happens in a session.

I want to be really honest about this because I think there's a fantasy version of boudoir that floats around online (all perfect lighting and perfect bodies and perfect everything) and it makes women think the session is for someone else. Someone who already has it figured out. Someone who already feels good.

That is not who comes to Sheer!

The women who come to Sheer come with real bodies and real histories and real complicated relationships with their own reflections. They come with the stomach they've been hiding and the arms they always cover and the skin that doesn't look the way it used to. They come nervous and uncertain and sometimes already apologizing for themselves before they've even walked through the door.

And then something happens.

We do hair and makeup together… and for most women that alone is the first time in months or years someone has focused entirely on making them feel beautiful. We go through looks that feel like different, powerful versions of themselves. We move through the session at their pace, in their comfort zone, and then just a little outside of it.

And when they see the first image on the back of the camera (the stomach they've been hiding, the arms they always cover, the body they've been WAITING to love) something shifts. Not because I did something magical. Because they finally looked. Really looked. Without the running commentary. Without the f*cking self criticism! And what they see is a woman who was worth seeing the whole time.

Five ways to start being kinder to the body you're in right now.

→ Stop apologizing for your body in conversation… to others and especially to yourself

→ Wear the thing that fits the body you have today, not the body you're working toward

→ Find one thing your body did this week that had nothing to do with how it looks

→ Take a photo of yourself… not to post, just to look at without immediately finding fault

→ Ask yourself honestly: would I speak to anyone else the way I speak to myself about my body?

The body you have right now is not a consolation prize. She is not the waiting room. She is the whole thing and she has been waiting for you to see that for a very long time.

Let this be the week you start. 🖤

The body you're waiting to have isn't more deserving of this than the one you're in right now. The investment is smaller than another year of waiting.

Let's Talk About Your Session…Fill Out The Form Below

Just Do the Thing: A Real Boudoir Client Story

WEEK 26 · Client Story

By Jennifer Dirksen · Sheer Photography, Youngstown OH · Est. read time: 6 min

A real client. Her real words. And the moment she fell back in love with herself all over again.

I could write all day about what a boudoir session does for a woman. I've done it for 25 weeks in a row. But sometimes the most powerful thing I can do is get out of the way and let one of my Sheer ICONS say it herself!

This one came in recently from a client who had been through it… really been through it. A year of being harder on herself than she'd ever been. A year of losing herself in the daily grind of caring for everyone around her. A year of her own mind being her worst enemy.

And then she did the thing.

I'm sharing her words here (with her permission and so much gratitude) because I know she's not alone. Because I know some of you reading this have been carrying the exact same weight. And because sometimes what you need isn't another person telling you how you'll feel after. Sometimes you need to hear it from someone who was sitting exactly where you are.

"I finally decided to do another shoot after I lost myself. I spend day in and day out caring for others and am known to lose myself in the process. I spent the last year being very critically hard on myself. I was constantly putting myself down and eventually decided to put myself first for once.

My mind kept telling me that I was not skinny enough, that my skin would never be clear enough, yada yada yada. My own mind was my worst enemy."

— Victoria

Read that again. My own mind was my worst enemy.

How many of you just felt that in your chest? Because that's not a unique experience… that's the experience of almost every woman who has ever considered doing something like this and talked herself out of it. The body isn't ready. The skin isn't clear enough. The timing isn't right. The list of reasons to wait is always longer than the one reason to go.

But she went anyway. She booked before she felt ready. And something started to shift.

She didn't wait until she felt worthy. She decided to act like she was and the feeling followed.

What happens when life hits harder than normal.

Here's the part of her story that I want to make sure doesn't get glossed over. Because it would be easy to read this as a feel good story about a woman who had a great session and felt better. But what she actually went through leading up to it was real and heavy and hard.

"Leading up to my session, life had definitely been hitting harder than normal. I had gained what weight I had managed to lose and then some. I was harder on myself than I had ever been in the past. It was the biggest and largest struggle I had yet faced in my adulthood.

It took some time but I remembered that I am the daughter, granddaughter, niece, and sister to some of the most amazing and strong women. I took the time and started to find myself yet again. Slowly but surely, I began to come out of my shell."

— Victoria

She didn't arrive at her session healed. She arrived in the middle of the process. Still finding herself. Still coming out of the shell. Still not having a single outfit picked out… which, for a self described control person, took a specific kind of courage.

She trusted me anyway. She told me I had complete control. And when she expressed her concerns (her stomach, the dreaded double chin) my response was exactly what it always is: I gotchu.

Because I do. Every single time. That's the whole job.

What session day actually felt like.

"Session day arrived and I was nervous. Nervous I was going to be late. Nervous I was going to fail myself in a way. But at the same time, I was so excited. I was excited to see myself in a different light, through someone else's eyes. I was excited to find my spark again that had been buried so deep.

As soon as I saw the first photos Jen took, I fell back in love with myself all over again. Every 'flaw and imperfection' I thought I saw, I loved. I saw what and who my husband saw. The woman I saw in that camera was ME. I am that strong, confident woman. I am the beauty in the image. I am worthy of my own love."

— Victoria

I am worthy of my own love!!!! Yes queen!

I have been doing this for over a decade and that sentence will live rent free in my head FOREVER. Because that's it. That's the whole thing. Not the photos (although the photos are the reminder.) Not the hair and makeup (although walking out feeling amazing is its own kind of magic.) It's that moment. The moment a woman looks at herself and stops seeing everything she's been criticizing and starts seeing everything she actually is!

That moment is real. It happens in my home studio regularly. And it is available to you.

Her message to you.

I want to end with her words because they're better than anything I could write:

"To anyone that has been a follower of Sheer Photography and Jen, do yourself the favor and book that shoot. Don't let yourself get lost in the shuffle of everyday life. Don't let your spark get buried. You will forever look at the photos and remember how you felt that day. You are worth every bit of time and love you put into others. Do not forget that you are worth your own love too."

— Victoria

She said it. I'm just making sure you heard it.

You are worth your own love too.

Just do the thing 🖤

The right version of you doesn't show up before the decision. She shows up because of it.

Let's Talk About Your Session…Fill Out The Form Below

The Women Who Book the Session Are Different. Here's How.

WEEK 25 · IDENTITY & BOLDNESS

By Jennifer Dirksen · Sheer Photography, Youngstown OH · Est. read time: 5 min

It's not about the photos. It's not about the lingerie. It's about the decision and what that decision says about who you're choosing to become.

I want to tell you something I've noticed after years of doing this work.

The women who book a boudoir session aren't a certain body type. They're not a certain age. They don't have a certain relationship status or a certain level of confidence already in place. They don't have their lives perfectly figured out or their self-worth completely sorted or their relationship with their body fully healed.

What they have is a decision.

A moment (sometimes quiet, sometimes electric, sometimes just tired) where something in them says: I'm f*cking done waiting! Done waiting for the right body. Done waiting for the right moment. Done waiting to feel worthy of taking up space in my own story. Done treating myself like an afterthought in my own life.

That decision right there changes things for us. Not just the session. Everything.

The women who book aren't more confident than the ones who don't. They're just done waiting for confidence to arrive before they act!

There is no right time. There is only the decision.

Here's what I hear constantly from women who are considering a session: I'll do it when I lose the weight. I'll do it when things settle down. I'll do it when I feel better about myself. I'll do it when I'm ready.

I say this with so much love: that moment is never coming. Not because you won't lose the weight or feel better or get ready, but because "when I'm ready" isn't a date on a calendar. It's a feeling you're waiting for that only comes from doing the thing you're waiting to feel before you do it.

The women who have come in for a boudoir session with me weren't ready either. They were nervous. They had the same list of reasons to wait. They just decided that the list wasn't actually the point (that they were tired of letting it be the point) and they booked anyway.

And something shifted the moment they did. Before the session. Before the photos. In the decision itself.

The decision is the identity shift.

This is the part most people don't talk about because it sounds too simple and also too big at the same time.

When you decide to do something for yourself (something that is entirely, unapologetically about you, not your role, not your relationships, not your productivity) you send yourself a message. A message that says: I matter enough to show up for myself.

That message lands differently than any affirmation you've ever said in the mirror. Because it's not words. It's an action. It's evidence. And your nervous system believes evidence in a way it never quite believes words alone.

The women who walk out of their sessions different aren't different because of the photos. They're different because of who they decided to be when they booked. The session just gave that decision somewhere to live.

The booking isn't the point. The decision is. And that decision… I matter enough to show up for myself, changes how you move through everything after it.

What actually separates the women who do it from the ones who don't.

It's not confidence. It's not a certain body. It's not having everything figured out.

It's a willingness to be slightly uncomfortable and do something you want. It's the ability to hear all the reasons to wait and choose yourself anyway. It's treating your own desire to feel good, feel seen, feel fully alive as something legitimate. Not selfish. Not indulgent.

The women who don't book aren't less deserving. They're just still in the waiting room. Still collecting reasons. Still believing that the right version of themselves has to show up before they get to do the thing.

But here's what I know after watching hundreds of women walk through this: the right version of you doesn't show up before the decision. She shows up because of it babe!

What the session actually does

As much as a HATE when boudoir photographers say this… a boudoir session at Sheer isn't just a photo shoot. I need you to actually hear that, because it took a lot for me to write those words down without gagging on them. It's a few hours where you exist completely outside of every role you play and every expectation you carry and you get to be seen, fully and intentionally, as a woman who f*cking matters.

We do hair and makeup together. We talk. We move through looks that make you feel like different, powerful versions of yourself. And somewhere in the middle of it (usually when you're not expecting it) you stop performing and start just... being. Present. Real. Yours.

And then you see the photos. And you question why you waited so long.

Five signs you're ready to stop waiting

• You've been thinking about booking for more than six months and keep finding reasons not to

• You look at other women's session photos and feel something that's equal parts inspiration and slight jealousy

• You're tired of being the person who does everything for everyone and nothing for herself

• You have a birthday, milestone, or season coming up that feels like it means something

• Something in you read this and thought that's me… I need this!

That last one. That's the one. If something in you recognized yourself in any of this, that's not a coincidence. That's the decision knocking.

You don't have to be ready. You just have to be done waiting.

The right version of you doesn't show up before the decision. She shows up because of it. The investment is smaller than another year of waiting.

Let's Talk About Your Session…Fill Out The Form Below

Eat the damn cake!!!

A frequently asked question we get is, “what do I need to do to get ready for my #SheerExperience?” So we put together a few of our favorite tips, and we hope this helps whether it’s a session with Sheer, or another boudoir photographer.

1. Be Confident - Nerves are part of your experience, and are completely normal to have. But it’s time to love yourself more and finally be confident in who you are. We promise to work with you every step during your #SheerExperience. Our goal is for you to feel like a completely new woman after your session.

2. Wear lose clothing to the studio - The last thing you want are any unwanted lines that your clothing may leave, or trying to take off a tight shirt after you’ve had hair and makeup done. We recommend you arrive in sweatpants, a loose shirt, and braless.

3. Skip the tanning bed and spray tan - If you normally tan stick to your routine. If you don’t though, skip that temptation to start. Skin that’s not used to the tanning bed may appear blotchy after a visit or two due to uneven tanning. The last thing we want you to worry about is your skin.

4. Bring lots of outfits choices - I mean, who doesn’t like to shop, I know I do. Bring at least one more outfit than your session allows. Bring at least that totally fits your style, and something outside of your comfort zone. After all, this is something that’s probably out of your comfort zone to begin with, so embrace it and have fun.

5. Get your body ready - If you shave then shave, and f you wax then wax. The last thing you want to do is try something new and have it irritate your skin. Paint those finger and toenails, but avoid really bright colors. French tips and neutral solid color gel photographs best. Even clean nails are better than chippy nail polish

6. Start stretching - A common theme I hear from clients the next day is “you were so right, I can’t believe my muscles are so sore”. As little as 5-10 minutes a day can make a huge difference, and your body will thank you for it.

7. Eat smart and drink lots of water - Drinking lots of water and eating right will help give you a healthy glow and make you feel so much better. Be sure to eat breakfast the morning of your session. Eggs, toast, fruit, juices are all perfect choices. AVOID THOSE FASTFOOD DRIVE THROUGHS. With that being said, if you’re at a birthday party and there’s cake, EAT THE DAMN CAKE. It’s cake after all and who doesn’t love it.

Every mom deserves some ME time!

Miss R was the winner of our Mother's Day Momination!!! As a Mother's Day giveaway, Sheer Photography offered one LUCKY MOM a chance to win the full Sheer Experience. The Sheer Experience isn't just a one day kind of thing...about a month before your session we like to meet with you to talk about outfit ideas, look through Pinterest to see what type of images you are drawn to, answer questions and just talk about who you are and what you want to become during your shoot. We understand this isn't something you do everyday...it's okay to be nervous and ask questions. We are here to help you through the WHOLE process.

Finally, it's shoot day...nerves are high, excitement is bubbling, you enjoy being pampered by our hair and makeup team, we go through your outfits together and finalize a plan. You change into your first outfit and we get started!!! Hopefully you took some Advil before you came, cuz we are gonna make your back hurt. "Pop that booty out!!!" This is your time to get outta the house, feel sexy and not have a care in the world (except for being nervous as all hell).

A few weeks after your shoot, we invite you back to the studio for your Premier Ordering Appointment!! This is the moment you have been waiting for!!! So many women are more nervous to see their pictures than they were to take them. Most women can't believe the pictures are them. It's so great to see yourself the way everyone else sees you! 

View fullsize

Like most women, Miss R works full time and never takes any time to do things for herself. This was her chance to let go and be sexy! 

View fullsize

View fullsize

This is what she had to say about her Sheer Experience..."Having a boudoir session with Jen and Brian was one of the best experiences I've had! I have always loved boudoir photography but never thought I would do it.

View fullsize

Being a mother, wife, and working full time as a nurse I don't make enough time for myself. My Sheer session was the perfect opportunity for some "me" time! I was nervous but as soon as I had my consultation and we discussed what to expect, what to wear, photo ideas, and all of my questions were answered, I couldn't wait for my session!

View fullsize

View fullsize

The girls that did my hair and makeup were very sweet and did an excellent job, and during my session Jen and Brian made me feel completely comfortable and beautiful. They coached me on what to do, and I had so much fun the entire time! My photos were ready quickly and I LOVED every single image! 

View fullsize

Jen and Brian know what they're doing and do an amazing job at it! It's something I would absolutely love to do again, maybe even a couples session with my hubby! I highly recommend Sheer Photography!"

Hair by Bianca Heasley. Makeup by Jodi Ciminero. 

We loved having Miss R in the studio and showing her how beautiful she is!!! We hope to see you back for a couples session soon!!!  

Ready for some YOU time?!?! Fill out the contact form below or give us an call at 330.646.1554

#BodyLove 1.0

About 6 months ago, I was not feeling good about myself. I was heavier than I've ever been, I was stressed from trying to do it ALL, but I felt like I was failing at everything...failing as a wife, mother, friend, business owner...nothing seemed to be where I wanted it to be. And if you know me, then you know that I am a HUGE control freak. So, when nothing was going the way I wanted it to I put all the blame on myself and bottled it up. One thing I'm really good at is keeping all my emotions bottled inside until it explodes and Brian is always the one who has to deal with the "brunt of Jen". Sorry about that Mr. Dirksen ;) but he is always there to keep me together and put a smile on my face.

3 months of this and I had to do something. I contacted my friend, Tiffany, who sells AdvoCare. I needed a change for myself, for Brian, for Keira (our daughter). I wasn't happy with my body and I felt like changing that would help everything else come together. And guess what?!?! It did...a little! It is amazing how one little change can help your whole life. Brian and I participated in the 24 day challenge and started eating better. We both lost a little weight, have so much energy, continue to try eating healthier and I have gained this whole new outlook on life. Not only do I see the beauty in myself more and more each day, but I also see the beauty in others so much more. It is so sad that we feel ashamed of our bodies...we need to embrace our bodies and compliment other women. Working with women has made me realize that no matter how beautiful everyone else thinks someone is, all they see when they look into the mirror are their own flaws. When did we start focusing so much on the bad rather than all the good in ourselves? When did it become wrong to say "I love my thighs", "I am proud that my stomach has stretched and shrank after having a baby", "I love my ass!"? I know if I tell someone else what I like about my body I start to feel vain and conceited. Brian takes FREAKING GORGEOUS pictures of me, but do I feel sexy everyday...no way! I still struggle with my body just like a lot of women do. But, I do feel pretty damn good though when I look at my boudoir pictures and see how fucking hot and sexy I can be.

Anyways, the point of hosting #BodyLove was to show women that no matter their age, shape or size, they should embrace their bodies and love where they are at this moment in their life. This wasn't about being sexy, it was a day about loving yourself and the journey your body has been through. 

These 9 women laughed with us, had fun with us, let their guard down for us and shared their stories with us. Thank you to all of these gorgeous ladies for taking part in #BodyLove!

---

A few of the ladies wanted to share their stories with you...

Miss T ~ I had such a good time and it definitely made me realize some things about myself. "Sexy" is definitely different for everyone. I am not comfortable with the "normal" idea of sexy. And that's fine. What works for me is confident, silly, tough. What I find most sexy about me is my tattoos. I have always looked at my tattoos as a way to cope with my body issues and until I get the tone/strong/ft body I'm working for, I'm gonna rock my tattooed mommy body!!! I'm coming to accept that even though I'm not happy with how it looks it also in a way shows strength because I made two beautiful boys in this body!

---

Miss C ~ I'm ashamed of my body, my stomach looks like a road map. Between surgeries and being pregnant it's been through hell. I never had one stretch mark till I got pregnant, not one!!! My arms and legs are gross and I may be the only fat woman in this world with small boobs!! In the last few months I've learned that I shouldn't care what others think. I'm not the normal woman, but I'm my own kind of beautiful. I get up everyday and now look at the mirror and try to see what others may see. I'm proud of myself for doing the BodyLove project!! I may have not have bared it all, but I bared more than I ever thought I could!!!

---

Miss M ~ I'm a stay at home mom and wife. My husband and I have 4 beautiful children together. 3 here on earth and our first born in heaven. Our angel would have been 4 this past May. Our second turned 3 in March and our twins turned a year in January. Thank you for letting me be involved in #bodylove with you guys. I really enjoyed myself and I can't want to come back again.

---

Miss A ~ I have had body image issues since I can remember. I lost a ton of weight prior to getting married and was finally happy in my own skin and felt great. Following my wedding, I got pregnant and I loved every minute of being pregnant. I wasn't worried about the weight gain because I knew I was creating another human and the weight would melt off as I breast fed my son.  Well, I breast fed my son for 14 months and didn't lose a pound! I was once again miserable with the way my body looked. Until one day, I was doing my hair at my bathroom mirror in my bra and panties. I looked up and for the first time in a long time actually saw myself in the mirror! After looking for a while and criticizing my body in my head I made myself STOP!! Since that day I have been working hard to find things I love about my body. I wanted to participate in the #BodyLove project because I knew it would help me in my journey to love my body.  I did it in hopes that by loving myself, I can teach my children to love themselves! Thank you Brian+Jen for all that you do to help build woman up! 

---

Miss J ~ #BodyLove is accepting the skin you’re in. It's easy to say and hard to actually accept. To me, my body has been through war and back. The everlasting war in every woman’s brain from the time of puberty. Looking back at all the pictures from High School I beg my body to go back to that size, yet when I was in High School that body wasn’t good enough. BodyLove makes me appreciate the body I have RIGHT this moment. This body has given birth two times, been through a surgery or two, and ate a crap load of chocolate and ice cream when I want it. As I grow I find myself actually appreciating what my body can do. I take the little steps instead of wishing for large leaps in making my body better. Sure, it might be chubby and I might have a few scars across my stomach but I am beautiful. How do I know that? My husband tells me every single day. Days like today when I get to appreciate my body for what it is and how it’s made help me get through the days where the magazines tell me I am not small enough. I am finally comfortable in the skin I am in.

---

Be on the look out for #BodyLove 2.0 Coming this Fall!!!

---

Ready to see yourself how everyone else sees you?!?!