The Moment You Realize You’ve Been Playing Small

Week 2: Reclaiming HER Series

There’s a moment most women don’t talk about.

It’s not dramatic.
It doesn’t come with a breakdown or a breakthrough playlist.

It usually shows up quietly.
In the middle of a normal day.

And suddenly you realize something that’s hard to unsee: I’ve been playing small.

Not because you lack confidence.
Not because you aren’t capable.
Not because life beat you down.

But because somewhere along the way, playing small felt safer than wanting more.

Playing Small Doesn’t Look the Way You Think

Playing small isn’t hiding in the corner.

It looks like:

• Saying “I’m fine” when you’re not

• Keeping opinions to yourself to avoid rocking the boat

• Dressing for comfort instead of desire

• Talking yourself out of things you want

• Shrinking dreams so they feel more “responsible”

It looks like being wildly competent while quietly unfulfilled.

And the hardest part?
You get praised for it.

You’re dependable. Low-maintenance. Easygoing. Strong.

So you convince yourself this is just adulthood.

When Did You Decide This Was Enough?

Most women don’t choose to play small.
They adapt.

After kids.
After heartbreak.
After exhaustion.
After being needed by everyone else.

You learn to mute yourself just enough to survive.
And then one day, survival starts to feel like suffocation.

That’s when the restlessness creeps in.

You can’t name it.
You just know something feels off.

That’s not dissatisfaction.
That’s your truth tapping you on the shoulder.

Playing Small Isn’t Humility. It’s Habit.

Somewhere, we were taught that wanting more made us ungrateful.

So we minimized ourselves to stay likable.
Palatable.
Acceptable.

But here’s the thing no one says out loud:

You can be grateful and crave more.
You can love your life and want to expand it.
You can be a good mom, partner, friend and want to feel alive again.

Playing small doesn’t protect you.
It slowly disconnects you from yourself.

The Moment Everything Shifts

Reclaiming HER doesn’t start with a plan.

It starts with awareness.

The moment you realize:

• You’ve been dimming your desires

• You’ve been choosing safety over alignment

• You’ve been living a version of yourself that’s… tolerable

That moment changes everything!

Because once you see where you’ve been playing small, you can’t unknow it.

And you don’t have to blow up your life to stop.

You just have to stop abandoning yourself in quiet ways.

This Week, Notice Where You’re Holding Back

Not to fix it.
Not to judge it.

Just notice.

Where do you silence yourself?
Where do you settle?
Where do you tell yourself, “This is just how it is now”?

That awareness is power.

And it’s how reclaiming HER deepens ✨

If this made you uncomfortable, that’s not a problem.

That’s awareness waking up.

This week, don’t change anything.
Just notice where you’ve been playing small.

And if you want to keep walking through this January together, I send one honest note each week for women reclaiming HER.

Why You Don’t Need a New Year, You Need To Unleash Yourself

Week 1: Reclaiming HER Series

Every January, women everywhere are told the same tired story.

New year. New goals. New routines. New rules.
Fix this. Improve that. Be better. Try harder.

But what if the problem isn’t that you need a new year?

What if the truth is quieter…and heavier?

What if you don’t need to reinvent yourself at all?
What if you just need to unleash the woman you’ve been keeping on pause?

If you’re a middle-age woman, like myself, chances are you didn’t lose yourself overnight. You tucked her away piece by piece.

After the kids.
After the marriage shifted.
After the career took over.
After the body changed.
After life demanded more than you thought you had to give.

And somewhere along the way, she learned to wait.

The Woman You Keep Putting Off

You know exactly who I’m talking about.

She’s the version of you who:

• Used to feel magnetic without trying

• Had opinions and said them out loud

• Took up space without apologizing

• Felt connected to her body instead of at war with it

• Dreamed bigger than what was “realistic”

She didn’t disappear.
She didn’t fail.
She didn’t get lost.

She’s been patient.

Waiting for the kids to be older.
Waiting for the chaos to settle.
Waiting for permission you were never going to be given.

And every January, you tell yourself, “This is the year.”
But then life taps you on the shoulder and says, “Not yet.”

So you compromise again.

Why “New Year, New You” Never Works

Here’s the thing no one tells women in midlife.

You don’t need more discipline.
You don’t need another planner.
You don’t need a stricter routine or a prettier vision board.

You are exhausted because you are over-functioning as everyone else’s everything while under-serving yourself.

A “new year” doesn’t fix that.

What fixes that is deciding you are no longer available to abandon yourself.

Reclaiming HER isn’t about becoming someone else.
It’s about remembering who you were before you learned to be smaller.

This Is the Year You Stop Waiting

Stepping into the version of yourself you’ve been putting off doesn’t require a dramatic life overhaul.

It starts with quieter, braver choices.

• Choosing yourself even when it feels uncomfortable

• Letting desire matter again

• Listening to the pull instead of silencing it

• Allowing confidence to feel natural, not earned

• Giving your body kindness instead of conditions

This isn’t about blowing up your life.
It’s about coming home to yourself.

And yes, it will feel unfamiliar at first.
Because you’ve been living in “responsible mode” for a long time.

But unfamiliar doesn’t mean wrong.

Reclaiming HER Starts Now

This January isn’t about fixing what’s broken.

Because you aren’t broken.

It’s about unlocking the door you’ve kept closed for years.
It’s about letting yourself want more.
Feel more.
Be more.

Not louder.
Not busier.
Not perfect.

Just more you.

This is Week One of reclaiming HER.
And it begins the moment you stop waiting for the right time…
and decide you are worth showing up for now ✨

You’re Not the Only One. This post exists because so many women quietly tell me the same thing: “I feel like I lost myself.” If that’s you, you’re not broken and you’re not alone.

The Year You Finally Stopped Abandoning Yourself

Woman to woman…let’s get real for a minute!

It’s the week after Thanksgiving and if you’re anything like… well, every mom I know, you’ve spent the last few weeks pouring yourself into everyone and everything else. Family gatherings, school events, cleaning, cooking, trying to keep the peace, smiling for photos, managing expectations….basically doing emotional gymnastics while holding a pumpkin pie in one hand and a Target gift list in the other.

And somewhere in all of that?

You disappeared again.

You told yourself, “I’ll start taking care of myself after the holidays.”
You said, “January will be my time.”
You whispered, “Everyone else needs me more right now.”

But girl… when is it finally your turn?

What if THIS is the year you stop abandoning yourself?

Not January.
Not when life magically slows down (spoiler: it won’t)!
Not when the kids are older, or the budget is better, or when you’ve lost weight, or when you feel confident first.

What if the confidence comes because you finally choose you?

Because here’s the truth we’ve ignored for too long:

💥 Selflessness is beautiful, but self-abandonment is not.
💥 You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you are running on fumes.
💥 Your spark isn’t gone, it’s buried under everyone else’s needs.

And I see you.
The woman who used to feel bold.
The woman who craves passion and excitement again.
The woman who wants to feel like more than a chauffeur, chef, house manager, and emotional safe place for everyone else.

You deserve to feel alive again…not just functioning.

This is the time where you get to choose yourself!

Not because you’re selfish.
But because you are important too.

Because your daughters and sons are watching what self-worth looks like.
Because your marriage deserves a woman who feels powerful and sensual.
Because the world needs the version of you who knows her value.

And because deep down, you’re tired of playing small.

Imagine this being the story you tell next year:

“December 2025 was the year I stopped abandoning myself.
I reclaimed my confidence, my body, my voice, my joy.
I stopped waiting to feel ready and did it anyway.”

That version of you?
She’s already inside you.
She’s waiting for you to choose her.

So here’s your invitation:

Do one thing TODAY that’s just for you.
Say yes to something that scares you in a good way.
Do the thing your future self will be proud as hell you did.

Book the session.
Wear the lingerie.
Schedule the alone time.
Start the workout.
Say no to something that drains you.
Say YES to something that lights you up.

Choosing yourself is not an afterthought.
It’s the first step to feeling like the woman you were always meant to be.

And I’m right here cheering you on….and doing it with you!

This is the last month of the year, so stop abandoning yourself 💋🔥

— Jennifer
Sheer Photography Boudoir